Can we talk? Just for a little bit? Because I recently saw something I can’t quite wrap my head around and I need to process it. Last night, on Jesse Watters Primetime, the host shared a clip of the former Vice President Kamala Harris and her husband Doug Emhoff food shopping in California. And in reviewing that clip, Watters wanted to know, “What kind of husband goes grocery shopping with his wife?”
He asked incredulously, furrowing his (it must be said: impressive and luxurious) eyebrows before cocking his head suspiciously. As if to say “There’s something shady going on here don’t you think?”
Crucially, he left what that might be unspoken and bouncing around the heads of his viewers as he moved on to his next segment. I think the intention was for us to draw some sort of nefarious conclusion but, to be frank, I’m left feeling like that meme of Winona Ryder trying to do calculus and getting really confused.
It goes without saying that Fox News is a brand you probably already have associations with, positive or negative depending on where you fall on the political spectrum. I am setting that entirely aside for the purposes of this exploration. Because whatever one’s feelings on the outlet or on Harris and Emhoff, ultimately none of that really matters. What matters is this: a television audience watched a man look at a video of another man, and then suggest, apparently in earnest, that there is something emasculating, upsetting, unusual, or wrong with that man going to a grocery store with someone he loves.
I am not against spinning off into weird little conspiracy theories when I’m bored. It’s the end of January, it’s freezing outside, and I don’t have much to do. But Jesse, give me a little bit more to work with here. Because right now, all I’m getting is misogyny. Granted, it’s the absolute weirdest, most unhinged version of misogyny I’ve seen in a while, but still — there’s not much I can do with that. And because I can’t do much with that I’m forced to gnaw on the meager densely-packed crumbs you’ve served up for us here.
Like: what aspect of Emhoff being at the store is so unsettling to you? Is it that he’s in a grocery store at all? If so, do y’all not eat food? Do you think that food just appears because you wished on a star or something? Are grocery stores, like, not macho enough to warrant the presence of a married man? Did you know they carry protein bars and steaks and beer and manly stuff like that?
Or is it because Emhoff was there with his wife? I suspect this is the issue, but that only leads to more questions. Why is being with your wife in a store weird? Is it because she should be doing domestic tasks alone? Because such tasks are beneath husbands? (Which…) Or is it because it’s somehow weird to want to be with your wife in public? Are middle-aged men supposed to treat their wives the way middle schoolers treat their coats? Like, yes, you have one but you don’t want the homies to catch you actually wearing it.
And, yes, of course, I know the network is no fan of anyone associated with Harris or the recently departed administration. Fine. Don’t like them. I don’t care. But trolling them for going to a grocery store feels very silly and unnecessary.
I could take this all more seriously. Because at the end of the day I feel like it’s pretty clear that this comment is rooted in very inflexible and outdated ideas about relationships, men, and women. Ideas we know leave women feeling burnt out, underappreciated, unloved, and less than. But, truly, it’s just so dumb I can’t even get offended, and neither should you. Instead take a breath, grab your shopping list, and ask your husband if he wants to go to the grocery store with you. He’ll probably say yes. Because most men worth keeping around aren’t going to turn down an opportunity buy some snacks and spend time with their wives.