Memorable mistakes

In that time I edited the submissions of dozens if not hundreds of reporters, fellow editors and contributors. Some writers were better than others, some needed zero editing and some needed extensive revisions.

New reporters, ones unfamiliar with deadline journalism, would routinely be given practice assignments. In one scenario, they received some facts and would have to craft a news story.

One rookie reporter dutifully completed the assignment and I immediately recognized a familiar problem with his work.

He wrote:

This headline appeared by accident on the front page of the EVENING OBSERVER Sports section one day many years ago.

“City police said that after they received an anonymous call, that they then investigated a promising lead and that they felt that that tip would be the one that they believe will eventually result in an arrest.”

I trust you noticed the excessive use of the word “that” no less than six times in a poorly constructed sentence.

Unfortunately, young writers often overuse the word “that” when trying to make their stories more conversational.

I once printed out two versions of a story for a cub reporter to review in the safety of my office. One was his original work and the other my edited copy.

He was stunned and more than a little embarrassed to find the word “that” crossed off 27 times in a relatively short story. And as a result, the streamlined story was a much better read.

Bill Hammond

He never made “that” mistake again.

Sometimes, however, it’s editors who make the mistakes. One editor, thankfully not me, left a joke on an otherwise blank sports page one night and forgot all about it. The person on duty, again not me, never saw it and sent the page to be printed.

In the following day’s paper, a headline atop the page read “Bowling scores bore millions” instead of the usual “Local sports scores inside.”

We received zero feedback on the pointed insult to our local and area bowlers. Crisis fortunately averted.

Reporters were also prone to spelling and usage mistakes, especially when employing phrases or words they had only heard and never saw in print.

I kept a list in my desk drawer of wacky submissions I believe were honestly submitted over the years. Here are some of my favorite examples:

Mute — Used instead of moot, as in, the point was moot.

Nill — The word they were looking for was null.

Coffers — The reporter was actually writing about coiffures.

Sweet — What he meant was a suite.

Niagra-Mowhawk — You know, the Niagara Mohawk Power Corporation acquired in 2000 by National Grid.

For scene — if you guessed foreseen, you’re correct.

Four-hour period of time — Not be be confused with a four-hour period of space.

Merenda warning — The Law & Order staple Miranda warning is given to all perps upon arrest.

Steel-towed boots — Apparently they used steel-toed footwear.

Four-stair heating — Forced-air heating is a much better selling point for a house.

Viola — Not the musical instrument, the French exclamation “Voila” or “there it is.”

Bolders — She was referring to boulders.

Peaked interest — Nice try, but it’s piqued interest.

Bold of lightening — Like a bolt of lightning, but way bolder and noticeably lightened.

Wood-be — I guess he never saw would-be in print.

Intensive purposes — For all intents and purposes.

Quartinators — Hard to believe he was searching for coordinators.

Right-in votes — Write-in votes weren’t as commonplace in the 20th Century.

Desist — The victim in question was actually deceased.

In the throws — Reasonable enough attempt, but it’s “in the throes.”

Eyesoar — A visible eyesore.

In ernest — Earnest.

Drinking while intoxicated — I’m guessing she meant to write driving while intoxicated.

In clear site — Yup, he meant sight.

Over site — Editing copy is a form of oversight.

Garnered with pins — Garnished was clearly the word he struggled mightily to find.

Vocal chords — Points for musical creativity, but vocal cords is correct.

Hall — Haul.

Laundry shoot — Not a crime scene. Laundry chute, not every building has one.

Antiquated — The writer was clearly not acquainted with acquainted.

Meet on the bones — Meat tastes way better.

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Bill Hammond is a former EVENING OBSERVER Sports Editor and News Editor.