How To Tell if You’re Addicted To Shopping

It’s not unusual to hear people describe themselves as “shopaholics.” And many enjoy a little “retail therapy” from time to time.

We often use these turns of phrase to joke about occasional overspending. But that doesn’t mean compulsive shopping — also known as shopping addiction or oniomania — isn’t a real and serious mental health concern. It is.

Is shopping addiction real?

Yes, compulsive shopping is a real thing. We sometimes trivialize shopping addiction or treat it as a character flaw. But that’s not right or fair to those living with the condition. And that’s a lot of people: A 2016 study in the journal Addiction found that about 5% of adults are compulsive shoppers.

Shopping, like many behaviors, can be healthy or unhealthy. The 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) only recognizes some compulsive behaviors — like compulsive drinking (alcohol use disorder) — as official mental health conditions. Overspending doesn’t make the list, but that doesn’t make the behavior any less destructive.

Causes of compulsive shopping

“Shopping often becomes a way of coping with stress, anxiety and depression,” psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD, explains. “Spending money is a way to fill emotional voids, escape from negative emotions and experience a temporary boost.” But when the dust settles, you’re left to deal with the consequences. And the consequences can be life-altering.

Addiction always has a biological component. Dr. Albers says that when you buy something, your brain releases dopamine and endorphins, making you feel good. But that feeling fades fast.

“The enjoyment you get is from the experience of making a purchase, not so much from the item itself,” she notes. “When people shop compulsively, they’re seeking that thrilling sensation over and over again — and trying to prevent the crash.”

Anyone can experience addiction, but Dr. Albers says certain things may raise your risk for compulsive shopping:

• You have a pre-existing mental health condition. Examples of conditions that tend to occur alongside compulsive shopping include anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a personality disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Personal history. Your risk may go up if you — or members of your biological family — have a history of addiction. Compulsive shopping may also be more likely if you have a history of poverty or have lost possessions in a traumatic way (in a house fire, for example).
• Your media habits. If you spend lots of time on media and social media platforms that expose you to advertising, you’re more likely to be influenced by it.
• Your glass is half empty. If you have a scarcity mindset or frequently experience fear of missing out (FOMO), you may have a harder time resisting the urge to buy.
• You don’t feel like you’re “enough.” Maybe you have poor self-esteem. Perhaps you have perfectionist tendencies or frequently compare yourself to others. Those personality traits can cause anxiety and promote materialism, which is a tough combination.

Of course, plenty of people fit these criteria but aren’t compulsive shoppers. So, how do you know if your shopping habits are unhealthy?

How to tell if shopping is a problem

“The difference between compulsive spending and healthy purchases is intention and consequences,” Dr. Albers clarifies. “With healthy shopping, we purchase the things we need in a calm and planned manner. Compulsive shopping, in contrast, is done with a sense of urgency. There is an emotional trigger and purchases often result in emotional or financial distress.”

Oniomania may be hard to spot because shopping isn’t an optional behavior. We all do it. And every day, we wade through advertisements encouraging us to do more of it!

We also live in a materialistic culture that treats wealth and success like they’re the same thing. It’s natural (to a point) to want to keep up with the Joneses — and plenty of people live beyond their means. So, how do you know when your behavior is crossing a line? Dr. Albers says the following are telltale signs:

• Shopping is your default. Your best friend is in town, so you plan a big trip to the outlet mall. You don’t swim, but you couldn’t possibly attend a pool party without a new swimsuit and floating lounger. If all roads lead to a new purchase (or five), you may be a compulsive shopper.
• Shopping is a hobby — maybe your main or only hobby. Spending money is a means to an end, not an end in itself. If it’s your only hobby, shopping is probably occupying too much of your life.
• You’re buying things you don’t need (and never use). We all splurge from time to time. But if you’re tying yourself in knots justifying your most recent purchase, it isn’t adding value to your life. Especially if you never actually use it! If you have a lot of items with the tags still on, that’s a sure sign that your purchases are being fueled by emotion, not a genuine need or desire.
• You’re always making returns. Does half of the stuff you pick up end up back at the store the following week? Is making a return an excuse to shop some more? You may be shopping for the thrill of it.
• You’re buying to escape negative emotions. Do you end up scrolling through products whenever you have a fight with your spouse? Or “treating yourself” whenever work gets stressful? Spending money may be becoming a coping mechanism.
• Something triggered (or worsened) the behavior. Compulsive behaviors can be a response to stress or change. Maybe you’ve always been a sneakerhead, but you only started collecting when your brother passed away. Perhaps shopping sprees helped life feel “normal” after you got laid off. Maybe getting sober left you with nothing to do on the weekends, so you started hanging out at the mall.
• You feel out of control. You sometimes feel like crying when another package arrives at your door. You avoid being alone because you can’t stop yourself from spending. It feels like shopping is all you ever think about and you sometimes get the sense that you’re a bystander watching yourself make purchases. Those are all signs of a compulsion.
• Overspending is negatively affecting other areas of your life. If you leave work early to hit the racks, stay up all night bidding on the news or blow your student loan money on season tickets, that’s reason for concern. When you’re neglecting your responsibilities because shopping feels better or more important, your behavior qualifies as compulsive.
• You feel regretful or guilty after buying something. According to Dr. Albers, if you feel guilt or shame after a shopping spree, that’s a strong indicator that you engaged in compulsive shopping.
• You lie about purchases. We don’t try to hide behavior we’re proud of. So, if you’re passing off purchases as gifts, hiding merchandise around the house, claiming items were on sale when they weren’t or engaging in “creative accounting” to conceal your overspending, you may be dealing with a shopping addiction.
• It’s causing financial concerns. If your credit cards are maxed out, you can’t pay your bills or you’re dipping into money that’s earmarked for other things (like a family trip or a college fund), you have an unhealthy relationship with shopping. Dr. Albers notes that people who have the resources to spend money liberally may not realize or feel the consequences initially. In those cases, it may be helpful to look for patterns or trends in your spending behavior, instead of focusing on how much you have in your bank account.
• You’re engaging in illegal activity. Shoplifting, stealing money, forging or deliberately bouncing checks are all signs that your compulsion to shop has escalated to a dangerous level.

If you see yourself in this list, you’ve already taken a big step: You’ve acknowledged that your behavior is concerning. While you may feel powerless, you aren’t. You can do something about it. Now, it’s time to do something about it.

Tips for curbing compulsive shopping

So, you have an unhealthy relationship with shopping. Now what?

First, you need to decide if this is a behavior you can change on your own. If you feel like you don’t have control over your actions, skip to seeking professional help.

If you do think you can build healthier habits, start experimenting. Behavior change can be tough. And not every trick will be effective. Take what works, modify as needed and leave the rest!

• Pause and reflect. Before entering the checkout line, Dr. Albers recommends taking time for mindfulness and reflection. Ask yourself if you really need the things you’re about to purchase and how they add value to your life. “You should also focus on how you’re feeling,” she adds. “Are you buying something to escape negative emotions?”
• Make a list. If it’s hard to distinguish wants from needs, make lists. Not on the list? You can’t buy it. If you need external accountability, share the list with someone you trust.
• Set a budget. Easier said than done, we know. But there are free budget planning guides, worksheets, trackers and apps that’ll help you clarify your financial situation.
• Delete shopping apps. If you spend your evenings scrolling through online shopping apps, digital marketplaces and consignment websites, it’s little wonder you’re overspending! Dr. Albers recommends removing or restricting access to those apps and websites. (Consider removing digital wallets and mobile payments from your smartphone, too.)
• Find healthy alternatives. Instead of trying the new brunch place, plan a potluck. Instead of spending $70 at the movie theater, pull a mattress into the living room and have a streaming party with your kids. Drive past that bookstore … and into the parking lot of your local library.
• Avoid enablers. Does your dad come home with a new gadget every other day? Find ways to spend time with him that don’t involve shopping and explain why it’s important to you.
• Only carry cash. If you’ve budgeted $100 for groceries, place that exact amount in your wallet. Worried about being caught flat-footed in an emergency? Keep a $20 bill concealed in your car.
• Restrict access to credit cards. You can’t spend money you don’t have! If you can’t cut up your credit cards, stick them in a filing cabinet or set a spending limit on them. You’ll have to make payments, but at least you won’t keep running up the balance!

How to get help

As with any compulsive behavior, wanting and trying to stop isn’t always enough. If your efforts to address your shopping addiction have been unsuccessful, it’s time to seek professional help.

“Asking for support can be difficult — and may even feel a bit embarrassing,” Dr. Albers recognizes. “But it’s a sign of strength, not weakness.”

Not sure where to start? Read on.

Work with a therapist

Most people with shopping addictions have something going on in their life that needs attention. Whether that something’s a history of trauma, a stressful home life, hoarding or an untreated mental health condition, it’s worth discussing with a mental health professional.

“Not only can a therapist help you understand and address the behavior, but they can also teach you healthier coping skills,” Dr. Albers explains. If your therapist suspects you have a mental health disorder, they may refer you to a psychiatrist, or recommend treatment approaches similar to those used for obsessive-compulsive disorder.

We sometimes assume that shopping addiction is a less serious compulsive behavior, but, again, that isn’t true. A 2021 study suggests nearly 20% of people living with a shopping-buying disorder experience suicidal ideation. If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or somebody else, reach out for help now.

• If you live in the U.S., call, text or visit the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
• If you live outside the U.S. or want to be connected with local resources, visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention website. They have a searchable database of crisis helplines.

If you’re in extreme distress, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.

Turn to SAMHSA (if you live in the US)

The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) has resources to connect people who need help with providers. You can:

• Call their National Helpline at 1.800.662.HELP (4357).
• Text your zip code to SAMSHA at HELP4U (435748).
• Use the Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator on their website.

Seek financial help

Depending on your financial situation, you may consider reaching out to financial therapists, financial advisers, bankruptcy attorneys, credit counselors, etc. Just be cautious: There are plenty of not-so-reputable people and companies out there that prey on people in dire financial straits.

Retail therapy vs. compulsive shopping

There’s nothing wrong with occasionally splurging, treating yourself or adding to a treasured collection when you’re a little down. Like a generous slice of grandma’s apple pie, a night out dancing with friends or a romantic date night, shopping releases mood-enhancing chemicals in our brain. The occasional big spend or impulsive purchase probably isn’t something you need to worry about.

In moderation, retail therapy can be relaxing, rewarding and empowering. It can become a problem when:

• The behavior becomes excessive or unmanageable.
• Buying becomes your primary way to cope with stress, sadness or other uncomfortable emotions.
• Your spending behavior hurts yourself, hurts others or becomes financially irresponsible.

Not sure if your buying behavior has crossed the boundary into addiction? Ask people who care about you — or a mental health provider. You may be dealing with a shopping-buying disorder. If not, take that niggling concern as a sign that you’re ready to discover the mental health benefits of window shopping. Either way, you’re performing a worthwhile act of self-care.