For some moms, getting their kids to help with the simplest task feels like an uphill battle. Let’s be honest, half the time, they don’t even do what they’re asked, so getting them to notice an awaiting chore and take it upon themselves to do it is a whole new ball game.
Moms get stuck with the “invisible labor” of the home: the necessary tasks that tend to go unnoticed or unappreciated, or feel like they would just never get done if moms didn’t do it for them.
But one mom, @samkelly_world on Threads, has shared some of the ways she has worked with her kids to better understand the work she does and to help out with even the most daunting task: grocery shopping.
“I’ve been having on-going conversations with my kids about the invisible labor of managing a home, what the ‘mental load’ means, and examples of what it looks like in both their lives and mine for over a year now,” she explained in the Thread.
“I’ve also been teaching them how to, first, NOTICE what needs to be done around the house and then take the initiative to actually do it on their own without having to be asked,” she continued.
She went on to say that while grocery shopping with her three kids (ages 12, 10, and 6), she took the opportunity to allow them to apply what they had learned in the real world.
“I know you know what kind of stuff we usually get at the store,” she said to the kids. “So I’m going to let you look around, on your own in this section and when you see something that we usually get, just like we ‘Notice and Do’ at home, you can…’NOTICE AND GRAB’ at the store.”
Now, I will confess, I don’t think I would have a successful shopping trip using that method as an adult — I need my list, and I need to check it off as I go! But turns out, Sam’s kids are much more diligent shoppers than I am.
Sam shared that she was surprised that the kids didn’t “notice and grab” any “random crap,” and actually focused on what the family actually needed, or was running low on, like kale and milk.
“It was like the responsibility and ownership of the task- trying to find stuff ‘we usually get’- superseded all else,” she explained.
She shared that this tactic cut down on her mental load — she could focus on getting certain recipe-specific items, while the kids covered the staples.
Threads users applauded Sam’s idea. Many shared how they applied “notice and do” with their own kids.
“We share a shopping list note on our phones between all of us so it’s not just me noticing things low or out in the house,” said user @imkeersten. The kids can add to the list and my husband or me can stop by store on way home and get what is needed off the list.”
“We started working on “notice and do” this summer and it’s hit or miss so far 😅, but one of them cleaned the toilet on his own this weekend, and the other did a load of towels. I love this grocery store idea!” said user @theashleystinson.
Now, who’s testing this out on their next shopping trip?