My 3 seconds of fame

It was the 1968-69 season and we performed poorly in sparsely attended preliminary games before the varsity squad took the floor.

We were terrible. Not a single player from that team ever played for our school’s varsity. Nor were any invited to try out. Several of our original 13 players flunked out after the first semester. Others just stopped coming to practice.

Veteran coach John Szczerbacki was our leader. He had previously coached both me and my brother, Tom, in grade school at St. Mary’s on Washington Avenue in Dunkirk. He was one of the finest gentlemen I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in my life. Helluva nice guy. Great coach.

We lost far more games than we won that season. My contribution was minimal.

Bill Hammond

Just shy of 6 feet tall, I wasn’t a very good basketball player. I may have been slow, but I couldn’t jump or play good defense, either. I just loved the game and competition, came to practice every day and didn’t give Coach Szczerbacki any problems.

I would describe my position as third-string center. That would change at midseason when both centers ahead of me on the roster flunked out. Not easy to do in a single semester, but these guys rarely went to class. They lived instead for Happy Hour at The Caboose. Who could resist seven splits of Rolling Rock for a buck or taking part in the epic Day of 1,000 Beers?

With a shrinking roster I eventually earned some court time and distinguished myself with a 10-point night in Dods Hall against Canadian college Guelph University. They were way worse than us.

But my biggest claim to fame that season came one night when we played at what was then called Edinboro State College in Edinboro, Pennsylvania. It’s less than 20 miles from Erie, Pa.

Prior to the 1972-73 basketball season, freshmen were ineligible for varsity competition. Back then, future NBA Hall of Fame inductees Calvin Murphy at Niagara, Bob Lanier at St. Bonaventure and Pete Maravich at LSU all played frosh team ball.

When we got to Edinboro we quickly found a copy of their team guide. The cover featured pictures of their two tallest recruits and future stars. One was 6-foot-8, the other 6-foot-10. Both were freshmen and our opponents that night. We were toast.

We fell behind early and the game was basically over by halftime. Their big guys were unstoppable.

Eventually, Coach Szczerbacki called my name and I went into the game on a foul shot. One of the host team’s giants was stationed next to me.

The foul shot was missed and unsurprisingly the behemoth outrebounded me. He was fouled by me for his troubles.

To the foul line he went, leaving his even larger teammate next to me in the bottom lane space. The shooter missed, his big buddy easily gobbled up the rebound above me and scored.

But not without another hacking foul from me, my second in as many ticks of the clock.

This time he made the bonus foul shot and it was our ball out of bounds.

I moved along the baseline to grab the inbounds pass and immediately knocked over a stationary defender. It was an obvious offensive foul.

I had committed three fouls in 3 seconds, possibly a world record.

The buzzer sounded and I was replaced. I never got anywhere even near half court.

On my long, embarrassing walk back to the bench I passed the scorers table. Everyone seated there was laughing hysterically. That didn’t help.

When I reached Coach Szczerbacki he said he was sorry, but had to take me out of the game.

“I thought you might kill somebody if I left you in any longer,” he said with a knowing smile.

The one-sided game soon ended, but my celebrity status as the guy who committed three fouls in three seconds was etched in Fredonia State basketball history. At least in my mind.

I hereby challenge any present or future Blue Devil to try and match it.

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Bill Hammond is a former EVENING OBSERVER sports editor.